{"id":11591,"date":"2013-07-12T10:25:35","date_gmt":"2013-07-12T10:25:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/?p=11591"},"modified":"2014-04-20T09:01:20","modified_gmt":"2014-04-20T09:01:20","slug":"interviu-cu-dumnezeu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/2013\/07\/interviu-cu-dumnezeu\/","title":{"rendered":"Interviu cu Dumnezeu"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Revista Cioburi:<\/strong>\u00a0Bun\u0103 ziua! De ce a\u0163i acceptat un asemenea interviu?<br \/>\n<strong>Dumnezeu:\u00a0<\/strong>Pentru c\u0103 vreau s\u0103-mi fac auzit\u0103 vocea \u00een lini\u015fte. C\u0103 pe la voi prin biseric\u0103, abia dac\u0103 m\u0103 mai aud de sporov\u0103itul babelor.<\/p>\n<p><strong>RC:\u00a0<\/strong>Cum v\u0103 mai \u00een\u0163elege\u0163i cu Biserica, \u00een spe\u0163\u0103 cu Biserica Ortodox\u0103?<br \/>\n<strong>D-zeu:\u00a0<\/strong>Ei m\u0103 \u00een\u0163eleg cum vor, eu \u00eei \u00een\u0163eleg din ce \u00een ce mai pu\u0163in&#8230; E o rela\u0163ie destul de plafonat\u0103, uzat\u0103 de trecerea anilor, dar supravie\u0163uim&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><strong>RC:\u00a0<\/strong>Dumneavoastr\u0103 ave\u0163i p\u0103rin\u0163i?<br \/>\n<strong>D-zeu:<\/strong> Amice, tu crezi c\u0103 stai de vorb\u0103 cu Adrian P\u0103unescu? Sau cum?<\/p>\n<p><strong>RC: <\/strong>Nu, nu..<strong>.\u00a0<\/strong>Dar, de exemplu, cum i-a\u0163i \u00eenl\u0103turat pe zei? C\u0103 ei cic\u0103 i-au dat jos pe\u00a0 titani cu scandal mare.\u00a0 A fost sau n-a fost lovitur\u0103 de stat c\u00e2nd a\u0163i venit la conducere?<br \/>\n<strong>D-zeu:<\/strong> Ce \u00eentrebare e asta? Tu crezi c\u0103 eu mai am nevoie s\u0103 preiau vreo putere? \u015ei ca s\u0103 l\u0103murim odat\u0103 pentru totdeauna chesteiunea asta cu zeii. Pe zei tot eu i-am promovat. Vroiam s\u0103 stau \u015fi eu lini\u015ftit o vreme. Aveam \u015fi eu nevoie de o pauz\u0103. Po\u0163i s\u0103 \u00een\u0163elegi asta?<\/p>\n<p><strong>RC:\u00a0<\/strong>Da, v\u0103 cred, na\u2026 Dar d-voastr\u0103 r\u0103spunde\u0163i doar de P\u0103m\u00e2nt sau de tot Universul? Extratere\u015ftrii \u00a0intr\u0103 tot sub jurisdic\u0163ia d-voastr\u0103?<br \/>\n<strong>D-zeu:<\/strong> M\u0103, voi \u00eenc\u0103 mai crede\u0163i c\u0103 mi-am deschis universul \u0103sta doar pentru voi?<\/p>\n<p><strong>RC:\u00a0<\/strong>Dar cum e cu treaba cu extratere\u015ftrii \u0103\u015ftia antici c\u0103 ne-au \u00eennebunit cei de la History?<br \/>\n<strong>D-zeu:<\/strong> Ce s\u0103 zic\u2026 Dac\u0103 le-au dat de urme \u0103ia de la History \u015fi nici m\u0103car \u0103ia de la Discovery Investigation, \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 au fost ni\u015fte diletan\u0163i.<\/p>\n<p><strong>RC:\u00a0<\/strong>Cum \u00eel mai suporta\u0163i pe Becali \u0103sta?<br \/>\n<strong>D-zeu:<\/strong> Becali are c\u00e2te o revela\u0163ie ori de c\u00e2te ori m\u0103 b\u0103s. Nu m\u0103 deranjeaz\u0103 s\u0103 \u015ftiu c\u0103 flatula\u0163ia mea poate fi perceput\u0103 ca o atingere divin\u0103 de un muritor.<\/p>\n<p><strong>RC:\u00a0<\/strong>Ion Iliescu v-a\u00a0 rugat vreodat\u0103\u00a0 ceva?<br \/>\n<strong>D-zeu:<\/strong> Da. M-a rugat s\u0103-l las \u00een pace.<\/p>\n<p><strong>RC:\u00a0<\/strong>Ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103-l c\u0103ut\u0103m pe Dumnezeu \u00een noi \u00een\u015fine?<br \/>\n<strong>D-zeu:<\/strong> N-am cum s\u0103-\u0163i r\u0103spund la o asemenea \u00eentrebare. E ca \u015fi cum m-a\u015f da de gol.<\/p>\n<p><strong>RC:\u00a0<\/strong>Ce e dincolo de moarte? D-voastr\u0103 crede\u0163i\u00a0 \u00een re\u00eencarnare?<br \/>\n<strong>D-zeu:<\/strong> Iar vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 provoci. E\u015fti chiar a\u015fa curios s\u0103 afli?<\/p>\n<p><strong>RC:\u00a0<\/strong>A, nu, l\u0103sa\u0163i, l\u0103sa\u0163i. Dar c\u0103 tot veni vorba, ave\u0163i o list\u0103 cu condi\u0163iile de accedere \u00een Rai?<br \/>\n<strong>D-zeu:<\/strong> Nu pot s\u0103 intru \u00een detalii pe o asemenea chestiune. E confiden\u0163ial. Dac\u0103 oamenii ar \u015fti r\u0103spunsul la o \u00eentrebare ca asta, \u00een 50 de ani Iadul ar da faliment.<\/p>\n<p><strong>RC:<\/strong> De ce ne-a\u0163i dat liberul arbitru?<br \/>\n<strong>D-zeu:<\/strong> Pentru c\u0103 m\u0103 plictiseam de moarte \u015fi am zis s\u0103 m\u0103 mai distrez \u015fi eu. Habar n-ai c\u00e2t de plictisitoare sunt glumele sfin\u0163ilor.<\/p>\n<p><strong>RC:<\/strong> Care-a fost treaba cu fiul d-voastr\u0103,\u00a0 Iisus? S-a \u00eentors sau nu acas\u0103?<br \/>\n<strong>D-zeu:<\/strong> Sunt chestiuni personale pe care n-a\u0219 vrea s\u0103 le comentez.<\/p>\n<p><strong>RC:\u00a0<\/strong>Dar ce le zice\u0163i, de exemplu, evreilor c\u00e2nd ajung la dumneavoastr\u0103?\u00a0 \u201cP\u0103i bine m\u0103, ce-a\u0163i avut cu fiu-miu?\u201d Sau cum proceda\u0163i?<br \/>\n<strong>D-zeu:<\/strong> Bag de seam\u0103 c\u0103 vrei s\u0103 faci pe cre\u015ftinul cu mine.<\/p>\n<p><strong>RC:\u00a0<\/strong>Cu fundamentali\u015ftii\u00a0arabi \u015fi cu zecile de virgine primite dup\u0103 moarte,\u00a0cum e? E la bune sau e doar a\u015fa, de marketing, s\u0103 v\u0103 face\u0163i clien\u0163i?<br \/>\n<strong>D-zeu:<\/strong> Hai m\u0103, fii serios! Urm\u0103toarea \u00eentrebare.<\/p>\n<p><strong>RC:\u00a0<\/strong>Ce-a\u0163i avut cu dinozaurii? De ce i-a\u0163i omor\u00e2t?<br \/>\n<strong>D-zeu:<\/strong> A fost pur \u015fi simplu un accident. Mi-a sc\u0103pat un muc exact unde nu trebuie.<\/p>\n<p><strong>RC:\u00a0<\/strong>Patriarhul Daniel sau Papa Francisc?<br \/>\n<strong>D-zeu:<\/strong> Papa Francisc c\u0103 promite mai mult. C\u0103 s\u0103racul Daniel&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><strong>RC:<\/strong> Psalmii biserice\u015fti sau rock\u2019n\u2019roll-ul?<br \/>\n<strong>D-zeu:<\/strong>\u00a0Ambele. Una la munc\u0103, cealalt\u0103 la distrac\u0163ie.<\/p>\n<p><strong>RC:\u00a0<\/strong>Bon Jovi sau ZZ Top?<br \/>\n<strong>D-zeu:<\/strong> ZZ Top. \u00centotdeauna mi-am dorit s\u0103 am o barb\u0103 ca a lor.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong>RC:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00cen final, un mesaj pentru fani?<br \/>\n<strong>D-zeu:<\/strong> V-a\u015ftept pe la mine.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\">Acest intreviu ar fi p\u0103cat s\u0103 fie adev\u0103rat.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Revista Cioburi:\u00a0Bun\u0103 ziua! De ce a\u0163i acceptat un asemenea interviu? Dumnezeu:\u00a0Pentru c\u0103 vreau s\u0103-mi fac auzit\u0103 vocea \u00een lini\u015fte. C\u0103 pe la voi prin biseric\u0103, abia dac\u0103 m\u0103 mai aud de sporov\u0103itul babelor. RC:\u00a0Cum v\u0103 &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30,98,103],"tags":[1154,1722],"class_list":["post-11591","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-aberatia-de-intelect","category-interviu-zona-de-muzica","category-promo","tag-dumnezeu","tag-interviu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11591","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11591"}],"version-history":[{"count":36,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11591\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12056,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11591\/revisions\/12056"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11591"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11591"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11591"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}