{"id":3715,"date":"2009-06-14T22:05:10","date_gmt":"2009-06-14T19:05:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/?p=3715"},"modified":"2009-06-14T22:05:10","modified_gmt":"2009-06-14T19:05:10","slug":"laba-lui-apollo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/2009\/06\/laba-lui-apollo\/","title":{"rendered":"Laba lui Apollo"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-3716\" title=\"3698_npadvmainfea\" src=\"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/3698_npadvmainfea-300x202.jpg\" alt=\"3698_npadvmainfea\" width=\"300\" height=\"202\" \/>Orice m\u0103mic\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi dore\u015fte ca plodul s\u0103u s\u0103 ias\u0103 cel mai de\u015ftept \u015fi cel mai frumos. Banii, dac\u0103 nu \u00eei poate procura ea, \u015fi-i face el singur, c\u0103 doar e b\u0103iat de\u015ftept. Atunci c\u00e2nd \u00eel \u015ftie pe taic\u0103-s\u0103u, situa\u0163ia e clar\u0103. C\u0103 \u0103la micul va fi iste\u0163 ca el \u015fi frumos ca ea sau c\u0103 va fi ur\u00e2t ca el \u015fi tont ca ea, lumea se a\u015fteapt\u0103. Dar ce se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd femeia este nevoit\u0103 s\u0103 apeleze la banca de sperm\u0103 pentru a deveni m\u0103mic\u0103? De unde \u015ftie ea ca \u0103la micul nu mo\u015ftene\u015fte vreun hidos cu co\u015furi, vreun cr\u0103c\u0103nat sau, mai grav, vreun repetent?<br \/>\nEvz.ro de ast\u0103zi ne d\u0103 r\u0103spunsul la aceast\u0103 \u00eentrebare: <em><strong>Banca de sperm\u0103 caut\u0103 donatori frumo\u015fi, cu Bacalaureat<\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Cum se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 lucrurile de fapt&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Te hot\u0103r\u0103\u015fti tu ca mascul frumos \u015fi de\u015ftept ce e\u015fti s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i depui icrele, sper\u00e2nd c\u0103 \u015ftiin\u0163a te va face t\u0103ticul unei progenituri e\u015fuate de at\u00e2tea ori \u00een cu totul \u015fi cu totul alte locuri dec\u00e2t cele cuvenite. \u00ce\u0163i iei inima \u00een din\u0163i \u015fi chilo\u0163i cura\u0163i pe tine, faci o copie xerox dup\u0103 diploma de bac \u015fi te \u00eenfiin\u0163ezi la clinica cu pricina. Ajuns acolo, dai bun\u0103 ziua \u015fi te \u00eendrep\u0163i spre domni\u015foara care \u0163i-a cules privirea imediat ce ai intrat, spun\u00e2nd c\u0103 ai venit \u00een calitate de donator. Ea r\u0103m\u00e2ne pu\u0163in nedumerit\u0103 \u00een timp ce te m\u0103soar\u0103 cu privirea \u015fi \u00ee\u0163i spune s\u0103 iei un loc, urm\u00e2nd ca altcineva s\u0103 te preia imediat. Te a\u015fezi \u00eentr-un col\u0163 pe o b\u0103ncu\u0163\u0103 \u015fi \u00eencepi s\u0103-i scanezi pe ceilal\u0163i b\u0103rba\u0163i cufunda\u0163i \u00eentr-o a\u015fteptare nervoas\u0103.     Numai tipi la 1, 90, constitu\u0163ie atletic\u0103, \u00eembr\u0103ca\u0163i la costum, r\u0103sfoind c\u00e2te un tratat de filozofie sau de fizic\u0103 cuantic\u0103. Din cincisprezece \u00een cincisprezece minute, \u00ee\u015fi face apari\u0163ia c\u00e2te un individ cu c\u0103ma\u015fa scoas\u0103 din pantaloni \u015fi lac de sudoare. \u00ce\u015fi ia buletinul de la recep\u0163ie \u015fi apoi p\u0103r\u0103se\u015fte sala de a\u015fteptare rostind un bun\u0103-ziua stors de vlag\u0103. Imediat, un alt individ din cei ce a\u015fteptau se ridica \u015fi dispare \u00een penumbra unui culoar.<\/p>\n<p>Dup\u0103 mai bine de o or\u0103 de a\u015fteptare, \u00ee\u0163i auzi numele strigat. Te ridici val-v\u00e2rtej \u015fi te \u00eendrep\u0163i c\u0103tre domni\u015foara cu z\u00e2mbet fals. Aceasta te \u00eendrum\u0103 \u00eentr-o alt\u0103 direc\u0163ie fa\u0163\u0103 de cea care te-ai fi a\u015fteptat. Urmezi indica\u0163iile \u015fi intri \u00eentr-o camer\u0103 luminat\u0103 excesiv. Acolo, spre surprinderea ta, cinci indivizi a\u015feza\u0163i la o mas\u0103 te poftesc \u00een\u0103untru \u015fi te pun s\u0103 faci c\u00e2\u0163iva pa\u015fi prin camera aproape goal\u0103. \u00ce\u0163i spun c\u0103 sunt comisia de stabilire a gradului de frumuse\u0163e \u015fi c\u0103 e nevoie s\u0103 \u00ee\u0163i acorde un calificativ. Dup\u0103 vreo dou\u0103 minute \u00een care p\u0103\u015fe\u015fti domol prin camer\u0103,  \u00ee\u0163i spun s\u0103 te opre\u015fti. Se \u015fu\u015fotesc \u00eentre ei apoi \u00ee\u0163i spun c\u0103 po\u0163i pleca nu \u00eenainte de a le l\u0103sa copia dup\u0103 diploma de bacalaureat pentru ca speciali\u015ftii lor s\u0103 o evalueze.<\/p>\n<p>Te a\u015fezi din nou pe b\u0103ncu\u0163\u0103 \u00een a\u015fteptarea verdictului. Dup\u0103 mai bine de o jum\u0103tate de or\u0103 de deliber\u0103ri, e\u015fti anun\u0163at c\u0103 nu \u00eendepline\u015fti condi\u0163iile particip\u0103rii la acest program dar c\u0103 po\u0163i l\u0103sa o mostr\u0103 de sperm\u0103 pentru colec\u0163ia de pochemoni ce va fi lansat\u0103 \u00een toamn\u0103. Surprins, intri lab\u0103nuieli.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Orice m\u0103mic\u0103 \u00ee\u015fi dore\u015fte ca plodul s\u0103u s\u0103 ias\u0103 cel mai de\u015ftept \u015fi cel mai frumos. Banii, dac\u0103 nu \u00eei poate procura ea, \u015fi-i face el singur, c\u0103 doar e b\u0103iat de\u015ftept. Atunci c\u00e2nd \u00eel &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,103],"tags":[418,1120,1829,1972,3157],"class_list":["post-3715","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mondenarii","category-promo","tag-banca-de-sperma","tag-donator","tag-laba","tag-mamica","tag-sperma"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3715","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3715"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3715\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3715"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3715"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3715"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}