E prea t\u00e2rziu s\u0103-mi fac o cafea \u015fi \u00eencerc s\u0103-mi impun \u00een g\u00e2nd c\u0103 m\u0103 voi trezi odat\u0103 ce voi inspira aerul rece al dimine\u0163ii de var\u0103. Imediat ce trec de pragul u\u015fii ce se \u00eenchide cu zgomot \u00een urma mea, dau ochi \u00een \u0163\u00e2\u0163e cu vecina de vis-a-vis, care tocmai \u00ee\u015fi \u00eencepe \u015fi ea diminea\u0163a cu un plimbat de c\u00e2ine \u00een jurul blocului. Pe c\u00e2t de r\u0103u \u00eemi pare c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 p\u0103r\u0103sesc acest cadru care treze\u015fte mai degrab\u0103 Jigodia din mine dec\u00e2t pe mine \u00eensumi, pe at\u00e2t de bine \u00eemi pare c\u0103 nu e singura pereche de \u0163\u00e2\u0163e pe care o voi vedea \u00een aceast\u0103 diminea\u0163\u0103.<\/p>\n
Este, \u00eentr-adev\u0103r, un spectacol de forme oriunde \u00ee\u0163i \u00eendrep\u0163i privirea, de la st\u00e2nga la dreapta mere, pere, pepeni \u015fi silicoane (mai rar prin Drumul Taberei dar dac\u0103 manelistu\u2019 cu mu\u015fchi lucra\u0163i la sal\u0103 nu te ia cu ma\u015fina diminea\u0163a, trebuie s\u0103 te \u00eenjose\u015fti la un troleu). Ajung destul de u\u015for \u00een sta\u0163ie unde prizonierii transportului \u00een comun a\u015fteapt\u0103 \u00eenfrigura\u0163i urm\u0103toarea curs\u0103 spre centru. Fac o scurt\u0103 trecere \u00een revist\u0103 a primatelor de sex feminin \u015fi o observ pe blonda de 8:10 \u00eencerc\u00e2nd s\u0103 se fac\u0103 remarcat\u0103 printr-un decolteu aproape inexistent, pe bruneta f\u0103r\u0103 sutien, cu sf\u00e2rcurile \u00eent\u0103rite, al c\u0103rei prieten\/gibon ( triped de-acum ) mai are un pic \u015fi face harakiri c\u0103 ne uit\u0103m to\u0163i la ea \u015fi, \u00een final, cele dou\u0103 prietene minore cu \u0163\u00e2\u0163e \u00een \u201cdo major\u201d ce-mi trezesc \u015fi mie \u015fi Jigodiei sentimente cu c\u0103tu\u015fe. Nimeresc \u00een troleu strivit de blond\u0103 \u015fi de minore, stingherit de g\u00e2ndul c\u0103 ar trebui s\u0103 le spun s\u0103 fac\u0103 o chet\u0103 pentru a-mi lua un fermoar nou pentru pantaloni. Doar dou\u0103 sta\u0163ii \u015fi lentilele mele se muleaz\u0103 pe \u0163\u00e2\u0163ele blondei. Reu\u015fesc s\u0103 cobor f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-mi dau drumu\u2019 \u015fi p\u0103\u015fesc un pic mai relaxat c\u0103tre un grup de masculi t\u00e2mpi\u0163i de soare care parc\u0103 se roag\u0103 la unison pentru o scurt\u0103 ploaie de var\u0103 ce ar transforma intersec\u0163ia \u00eentr-un concurs spontan de tricouri ude. Ne rug\u0103m \u00eempreun\u0103 acum!<\/p>\n
Acestea fiind spuse, \u00eemi dau seama c\u0103 suferim, noi masculii, de sindromul \u201c\u0163\u00e2\u0163e\u201d. Avem atacuri de panic\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd suntem \u00eenconjura\u0163i din toate p\u0103r\u0163ile de purt\u0103toarele acestor obiecte, nu mai \u015ftim unde s\u0103 privim sau spre care dintre ele s\u0103 saliv\u0103m. S\u0103 nu v\u0103 imagina\u0163i doamnelor \u015fi domni\u015foarelor c\u0103 \u00een timpul verii mai exista vreun mascul normal, to\u0163i ne transform\u0103m \u00een mitocani \u015fi ne pute\u0163i recunoa\u015fte pe strad\u0103 dup\u0103 pupilele dilatate, iar asta dac\u0103 v\u0103 uita\u0163i \u00een ochii no\u015ftri, nu spre \u015fli\u0163.<\/p>\n
Nu e cazul s\u0103 ne \u00eenvinov\u0103\u0163i\u0163i, voi crea\u0163i aceast\u0103 situa\u0163ie prin atacul \u0163\u00e2\u0163elor iar noi nu putem r\u0103spunde dec\u00e2t printr-un comportament cu caracter de Jigodie!<\/p>\n
S\u0103 \u00eenceap\u0103 concursul!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
E prea t\u00e2rziu s\u0103-mi fac o cafea \u015fi \u00eencerc s\u0103-mi impun \u00een g\u00e2nd c\u0103 m\u0103 voi trezi odat\u0103 ce voi inspira aerul rece al dimine\u0163ii de var\u0103. Imediat ce trec de pragul u\u015fii ce se …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[93,101],"tags":[358,1734,1779,3292,3534],"class_list":["post-4046","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-editorial","category-martor-si-tartor","tag-atac","tag-invazie","tag-jigodie","tag-tate","tag-vara"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4046","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4046"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4046\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4046"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4046"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4046"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}