{"id":5503,"date":"2009-09-15T10:03:41","date_gmt":"2009-09-15T07:03:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/?p=5503"},"modified":"2009-09-15T10:03:41","modified_gmt":"2009-09-15T07:03:41","slug":"horoscopul-saptamanii-14-20-septembrie-2009","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/2009\/09\/horoscopul-saptamanii-14-20-septembrie-2009\/","title":{"rendered":"Horoscopul s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2nii 14-20 septembrie 2009"},"content":{"rendered":"

Celebrul doctor universitar, specializat \u00een r\u0103sucitul astrelor \u015fi exterminarea gr\u0103simii, Jean Horoscopisdul<\/em> va avea onoarea de a-\u015fi arunca experien\u0163a despre zodii pe veveveu. \u00cen exclusivitate v\u0103 prezent\u0103m arhetipul suprem.<\/p>\n

Berbec<\/strong>. Mar\u0163i rela\u0163iile cu persoanele apropiate devin tensionate dup\u0103 ce, aflat la reuniune de familie, voma\u0163i ciupercile cu sm\u00e2nt\u00e2n\u0103 de la pr\u00e2nz direct pe str\u0103bunica unui v\u0103r. O \u00eencercare nereu\u015fit\u0103 de a atrage aten\u0163ia de la pantalonii dumneavoastr\u0103 albi cu bule maro \u00een partea dorsal\u0103. V\u0103 sare \u00een ajutor unchiul preferat spun\u00e2nd c\u0103 el este de vin\u0103. Toat\u0103 lumea gust\u0103 aceast\u0103 glum\u0103 mai pu\u0163in dumneavoastr\u0103 deoarece v\u0103 aminti\u0163i c\u0103 \u00een trecut sim\u0163ea\u0163i o oarecare jen\u0103 dormind cu unchiul \u00een pat.<\/p>\n

Taur<\/strong>. \u00cen aceast\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 ve\u0163i sim\u0163i c\u0103 toat\u0103 lumea \u00eencearc\u0103 s\u0103 v\u0103 \u00eenjungie exact ca la corid\u0103. Sunte\u0163i stresat\/\u0103 \u015fi nimic nu v\u0103 iese. M\u0103 rog, aproape nimic. V\u0103 iese un furuncul enorm la subra\u0163 fix \u00eentre cei \u015fase negi. Tot r\u0103ul spre bine, s\u00e2mb\u0103t\u0103 ve\u0163i fi sunat\/\u0103 de cei de la National Geografic \u00een vederea unui interviu urmat de o sesiune de fotografiere. \u00cen scurt timp ajunge\u0163i unul dintre cei mai cunoscu\u0163i oameni de pe planet\u0103. Ve\u0163i fi singura persoan\u0103 care de\u0163ine Carul Mare pe corp. P\u0103cat c\u0103 i-a\u0163i l\u0103sat breton calului.<\/p>\n

Gemeni<\/strong>. Lene mare ca de obicei. De lene nu mai merge\u0163i la serviciu, nu v\u0103 mai satisface\u0163i partenera\/rul de\u015fi gura ar vrea, nu mai m\u00e2nca\u0163i. Joi gemenii sunt deja op\u0103ri\u0163i \u00eentre picioare, nu e de la transipira\u0163ie. V\u0103 ia foc calculatorul, sunte\u0163i \u00eengrijorat \u00eens\u0103 c\u0103 v-a\u0163i l\u0103sat \u0163ig\u0103rile \u00een cealalt\u0103 camer\u0103 tocmai acum c\u00e2nd n-a\u0163i fi fost nevoit s\u0103 aprinde\u0163i bricheta. Din fericire v\u0103 salveaz\u0103 vecinii \u015fi sunte\u0163i dus de urgen\u0163\u0103 la spital cu tot cu scaunul lipit de dumneavoastr\u0103. V\u0103 \u00eemprieteni\u0163i cu un sinuciga\u015f ratat care a \u00eencercat s\u0103 se omoare s\u0103rind \u00een cap de pe bloc. Din p\u0103cate a r\u0103mas prins \u00een rufele vecinei de la etajul trei. V\u0103 cere s\u0103-l omor\u00e2\u0163i. V\u0103 e lene.<\/p>\n

Rac<\/strong>. Divor\u0163ul pare iminent. So\u0163ia v-a prins la curve. M\u0103car a\u015fa a\u0163i descoperit c\u0103 \u015fi ea duce o via\u0163\u0103 dubl\u0103. R\u0103m\u00e2ne\u0163i cu un gust amar g\u00e2ndindu-v\u0103 c\u0103 d\u0103dea\u0163i contracost ca orice prost de\u015fi avea\u0163i pepiniera \u00een cas\u0103. V\u0103 dau un sfat \u00een vederea partajului : nu cere\u0163i copiii c\u0103 dumneavoastr\u0103 nu sunte\u0163i mulatru!<\/p>\n

Leu<\/strong>. Leii nu produc fericire. Dar leoaicele da. Luni, mar\u0163i, joi \u015fi s\u00e2mb\u0103t\u0103 sunt zilele cu o puternic\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103rc\u0103tur\u0103 erotic\u0103 manifestat\u0103 doar \u00een r\u00e2ndul posesoarelor de pl\u0103ci tectonice. Dragelor ataca\u0163i-v\u0103 b\u0103rba\u0163ii, l\u0103sa\u0163i cutremurele \u015fi lava s\u0103 t\u00e2\u015fneasc\u0103. Simt nevoia de a face o ad\u0103ugire: „b\u0103rba\u0163ii” reprezint\u0103 persoanele de sex masculin care v\u0103 iubesc \u015fi v\u0103 sunt aproape . Nu, armata rom\u00e2n\u0103, pompierii \u015fi BGS-ul nu intr\u0103 \u00een aceast\u0103 discu\u0163ie.V\u0103 rog m\u0103car o dat\u0103 \u00eencerca\u0163i cu mai pu\u0163in de patru pe noapte. \u015ei s\u0103 \u015fti\u0163i c\u0103 nu se pune unul singur dac\u0103 sunt gemeni sau triple\u0163i.<\/p>\n

Fecioara<\/strong>. B\u0103rba\u0163ii din aceast\u0103 zodie se vor chinui teribil, un lan\u0163 de coinciden\u0163e va face ca nic\u0103ieri s\u0103 nu poat\u0103 bea o bere. De aici va veni transformarea. Se vor unii \u00een haite \u015fi vor ataca tot ce le va ie\u015fi \u00een cale. Aproape vor sf\u00e2r\u015fi ag\u0103\u0163a\u0163i de ni\u015fte liane \u00een gr\u0103dina zoologic\u0103 din Cluj. Vor evada \u00eentr-o noapte cu lun\u0103 plin\u0103 \u015fi, h\u0103itui\u0163i, se vor refugia \u00een Caracal. Aici vor tr\u0103i ferici\u0163i p\u00e2n\u0103 la ad\u00e2nci b\u0103tr\u00e2ne\u0163i.<\/p>\n

Balan\u0163\u0103<\/strong>. Vor avea mari probleme cu s\u0103n\u0103tatea. Vor ajunge s\u0103-\u015fi blesteme ziua \u00een care \u015fi-au v\u00eendut rinichiul \u015fi o bucat\u0103 din stomac c\u0103m\u0103tarilor pentru dou\u0103 \u015fpri\u0163uri de Busuioac\u0103. Ba\u015fca nici nu le pl\u0103cea vinul. To\u0163u\u015fi e bine c\u0103 rana de glon\u0163 din \u015fold s-a \u00eenchis. \u00cei mai deranjeaz\u0103 doar c\u00e2nd se schimb\u0103 vremea ori c\u00e2nd merg la supermarket.<\/p>\n

Scorpion<\/strong>. V\u0103 ve\u0163i \u00eent\u00e2lni la o petrecere \u00een sf\u00e2r\u015fit cu persoana despre care \u015fti\u0163i sigur c\u0103 v\u0103 este jum\u0103tatea \u00een aceast\u0103 via\u0163\u0103. Din p\u0103cate ea trebuie s\u0103 plece pe la cinci dimnea\u0163a deoarece gazda nu a pl\u0103tit dec\u00e2t pentru trei ore. Afla\u0163i c\u0103 \u00een timp ce dumneavoastr\u0103 \u00eencerca\u0163i s\u0103 g\u0103si\u0163i texte siropoase de\u015fi \u0163uica de prune v\u0103 limita teribil, prietenii au umplut-o de poeme.<\/p>\n

S\u0103get\u0103tor<\/strong>. P\u00e2n\u0103 pe data de nou\u0103sprezece zeul p\u0103cii v\u0103 va \u00eendruma pa\u015fii. Adic\u0103 v\u0103 ve\u0163i droga p\u00e2n\u0103 va interveni schimbarea la fa\u0163\u0103. Duminic\u0103, \u00eempin\u015fi de p\u0103rin\u0163i \u015fi de o supradoz\u0103 nasoal\u0103 cauzat\u0103 de un derivat al huilei, ajunge\u0163i la concluzia c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 pune\u0163i stop. Din p\u0103cate era\u0163i pe DN1, iar tirul din spate nu a avut timp de reac\u0163ie. Lua\u0163i partea bun\u0103 a lucrurilor: m\u0103car ve\u0163i avea morfin\u0103 gratis aproximativ \u015fase luni de zile.<\/p>\n

Capricorn<\/strong>. C\u0103uta\u0163i metode de a v\u0103 surprinde partenerul de via\u0163\u0103, \u00eencerc\u00e2nd astfel de a mai pipera rela\u0163ia. E\u015fua\u0163i din prima deoarece acesta\/aceasta nu va s\u0103ri \u00een pat excitat\/excitat\u0103 \u00een momentul \u00een care v\u0103 va g\u0103si frec\u00e2ndu-v\u0103 nud\/\u0103 de vecinul\/vecina de palier. P\u00e2n\u0103 vineri g\u0103si\u0163i \u015fi o metod\u0103 cu foarte pu\u0163ine \u015fanse de e\u015fec de a sc\u0103pa de cei opt mii de euro datora\u0163i c\u0103m\u0103tarilor.<\/p>\n

V\u0103rs\u0103tor<\/strong>. Ve\u0163i face o afacere excelent\u0103 pe timpul crizei. Cu doar opt mii de euro v\u0103 ve\u0163i cump\u0103ra at\u00e2t un apartament c\u00e2t \u015fi o ma\u015fin\u0103. Profita\u0163i de rug\u0103mintea disperat\u0103 a unei cuno\u015ftin\u0163e de a realiza un troc net favorabil dumneavoastr\u0103. V\u0103 muta\u0163i \u00een noua locuin\u0163\u0103. Vineri noaptea v\u0103 trezi\u0163i dezbr\u0103cat at\u00e2rnat de lustr\u0103. Nou\u0103 persoane colorate roiesc \u00een jurul so\u0163iei \u00eentreb\u00e2nd-o de bani. \u00cencerc\u00e2nd s\u0103 v\u0103 elibera\u0163i, desprinde\u0163i lustra c\u0103z\u00e2nd cu o bucat\u0103 din tavan. Profit\u00e2nd de aceast\u0103 degringolad\u0103 so\u0163ia reu\u015fe\u015fte s\u0103 fug\u0103. Din p\u0103cate ve\u0163i fi sodomizat p\u00e2n\u0103 la apari\u0163ia jandarmeriei.<\/p>\n

Pe\u015fti<\/strong>. Pe\u015ftii vor avea noroc pe tot parcursul s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2nii. Vor urca cel pu\u0163in dou\u0103 trepte \u00een organigrama firmei, vor c\u00e2\u015ftiga joi la loterie ( at\u00e2t \u00een Rom\u00e2nia c\u00e2t \u015fi \u00een Sri Lanka, mai greu de ridicat suma c\u00e2\u015ftigat\u0103 de acolo), vor deveni p\u0103rin\u0163i, vor fi anun\u0163a\u0163i drept candida\u0163i la pre\u015fedin\u0163ie. Norocul va \u00eenceta duminic\u0103 subit \u00een momentul \u00een care se vor trezi din com\u0103.<\/p>\n


\n<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Celebrul doctor universitar, specializat \u00een r\u0103sucitul astrelor \u015fi exterminarea gr\u0103simii, Jean Horoscopisdul va avea onoarea de a-\u015fi arunca experien\u0163a despre zodii pe veveveu. \u00cen exclusivitate v\u0103 prezent\u0103m arhetipul suprem. Berbec. Mar\u0163i rela\u0163iile cu persoanele apropiate …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[87,103],"tags":[353,1592,3661],"class_list":["post-5503","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cate-n-luna-si-stele-verzi","category-promo","tag-astre","tag-horoscop","tag-zodii"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5503","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5503"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5503\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5503"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5503"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5503"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}