{"id":5710,"date":"2009-09-29T16:12:31","date_gmt":"2009-09-29T13:12:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/?p=5710"},"modified":"2009-09-29T16:12:31","modified_gmt":"2009-09-29T13:12:31","slug":"misiune-ratata","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/2009\/09\/misiune-ratata\/","title":{"rendered":"Misiune ratat\u0103"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Departe de problemele cu care guvernul Rom\u00e2niei se confrunt\u0103, celebrul -007 tocmai \u00ee\u015fi dovede\u015fte (din nou) abilit\u0103\u0163ile extraordinare, \u00eentr-o misiune de recuperare a unor documente ultrasecrete, nu-i a\u015fa, pe un teritoriu inamic, greu de p\u0103truns \u015fi de observat. Dar nu pentru agentul Bont. La centrul de comand\u0103 al misiunii, echipa de la butoane a\u015fteapt\u0103 cu \u00eenfrigurare ve\u015fti de la erou, verific\u00e2nd \u015fi reverific\u00e2nd to\u0163i parametrii misiunii deosebit de periculoase.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>-R\u0103spunde, Coco\u015felul!<\/p>\n<p>-Recep\u0163ionat, aici Coco\u015felul!<\/p>\n<p>-A\u0163i verificat coordonatele livr\u0103rii pachetului?<\/p>\n<p>-Recep\u0163ionat. Am verificat toate coordonatele. Am lansat pachetul f\u0103r\u0103 probleme!<\/p>\n<p>-Bun a\u015fa, Coco\u015fel! Reveni\u0163i la baz\u0103!<\/p>\n<p>-Recep\u0163ionat!<\/p>\n<p>-John, cum st\u0103m cu radarele?<\/p>\n<p>-Bine, bine! Scaneaz\u0103 tot. \u00cen zece minute ar trebui s\u0103 primim un mesaj de la Bont.<\/p>\n<p>-Bun. Ce telefon i-a\u021bi dat?<\/p>\n<p>-Iphone-ul \u0103la nou. C\u0103 are \u015fi GPS pe el.<\/p>\n<p>-Aha. Deci, n-or s\u0103 fie probleme.<\/p>\n<p>-Nope. I-am dat \u015fi costumul lui Mircea Radu, s\u0103 nu-l descopere inamicul.<\/p>\n<p>-Mircea Radu?? Sunte\u0163i nebuni??<\/p>\n<p>-P\u0103i, s\u0103 cread\u0103 lumea c\u0103 a venit din dragoste, nu de alta&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>-Aha&#8230;Bun\u0103 idee. M\u0103car i-a\u0163i dat \u015fi un cameraman cu el? S\u0103 fie mai veridic?<\/p>\n<p>-Da, i-am dat-o pe crea\u0163a aia de la \u015ftirile de sport.<\/p>\n<p>-Care, m\u0103h?<\/p>\n<p>-Aia care e cu \u0103la de la concuren\u0163\u0103&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>-Brum\u0103?<\/p>\n<p>-Da&#8230;Oricum, dup\u0103 ce i-o trage o \u00eempu\u015fc\u0103. Doar \u015ftii, a\u015fa face cu agentele duble.<\/p>\n<p>-Aha. Bine, bine! Cum st\u0103m cu echipamentul?<\/p>\n<p>-Are de toate: usc\u0103tor de p\u0103r pozitronic, ceas D&amp;G cu cristale de kevlar \u015fi ultrasunete, periu\u0163\u0103 de din\u0163i anti-tanc, ochelari de soare cu vedere pe noapte. Din \u0103ia de se \u0163in pe cap&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>-Hm&#8230;Asta-i tot?<\/p>\n<p>-P\u0103i, are costumul lui Mircea Radu, dotat cu scobitori de o\u0163el la buzunarul interior, piept\u0103ne cu camer\u0103 video \u00eencorporat\u0103,  aparat de ras Gilette cu \u015fapte r\u00e2nduri de lame \u015fi imjpulsuri electrice de 1000 de vol\u0163i, deodorant cu spum\u0103 poliuretanic\u0103 extra&#8230;\u015ei iphone-ul \u0103la nou.<\/p>\n<p>-P\u0103i, nicio arm\u0103, nimic?<\/p>\n<p>-Ce-ai dom\u2019le, e\u015fti nebun? Arme??<\/p>\n<p>-P\u0103i, dac\u0103 p\u0103\u0163e\u015fte ceva?<\/p>\n<p>-Nu p\u0103\u0163e\u015fte nimic, doar e agentul Bont. E preg\u0103tit s\u0103 nu p\u0103\u0163easc\u0103 nimic, ca s\u0103 zic a\u015fa.<\/p>\n<p>-Bine, bine. Cum st\u0103m cu recep\u0163ia?<\/p>\n<p>-A\u015ftept\u0103m, a\u015ftept\u0103m&#8230;\u00cen cinci minute trebuie s\u0103 ne contacteze.<\/p>\n<p>-Ok, a\u0163i verificat totul?<\/p>\n<p>-Da.<\/p>\n<p>-Ce pericole poten\u0163iale a\u0163i identificat?<\/p>\n<p>-Oho, sunt c\u00e2teva. Numai bune pentru Bont. P\u0103i, p\u00e2n\u0103 s\u0103 ajung\u0103 la punctul X, s\u0103 recupereze&#8230; \u015fti\u0163i, ce trebuie s\u0103 recupereze&#8230;are de trecut de patru filtre cu poten\u0163ial pericol.<\/p>\n<p>-Expune!<\/p>\n<p>-Primul este reprezentat de zona tampon populat\u0103 cu cresc\u0103torii de cai de sufragerie, amatori de fier vechi \u015fi tehnologie&#8230;Aici cred c\u0103 poate s\u0103 scape dup\u0103 ce o vinde pe aia mic\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>-P\u0103i, \u015fi cu babardeala?<\/p>\n<p>-Ee, da\u2019 p\u00e2n\u0103 acolo ce a f\u0103cut?<\/p>\n<p>-Da, da\u2019 nu trebuia s-o, \u015ftii tu&#8230;S-o cure\u0163e&#8230;?<\/p>\n<p>-Da dar a identificat \u015fi varianta asta, cu v\u00e2ndutul.<\/p>\n<p>-Bun. Al doilea filtru?<\/p>\n<p>-Al doilea filtru este mai greu de p\u0103truns deoarece con\u0163ine o atmosfer\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103rcat\u0103 chimic iar cei care de\u0163in recipientele cu substan\u0163ele respective sunt destul de mul\u0163i. Mai ales c\u0103 umbl\u0103 \u00een grupuri mai mari \u015fi nu ra\u0163ioneaz\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>-Aha&#8230;P\u0103i, \u0103\u015ftia cine mai sunt?<\/p>\n<p>-Nu \u015ftie nimeni, dar se pare c\u0103 respir\u0103 ceva din ni\u015fte pungi argintii \u015fi dac\u0103 pun m\u00e2na pe cineva \u00eel infesteaz\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>-Ce op\u0163iuni are Bont?<\/p>\n<p>-Ceasul cu cristale&#8230;Dac\u0103 \u015ftie s\u0103-l m\u00e2nuiasc\u0103 pe \u0103la, trece \u015fi de \u0103\u015ftia.<\/p>\n<p>-Al treilea filtru?<\/p>\n<p>-Paznicul.<\/p>\n<p>-Cine?<\/p>\n<p>-Paznicul. Care cere legitima\u0163ia. N-ai legitima\u0163ie, e\u015fti m\u00e2ncat.<\/p>\n<p>-Nasol&#8230;Cum st\u0103m cu legitima\u0163ia?<\/p>\n<p>-Aici intervine costumul lui Mircea Radu. \u015ei pieptenele. \u0102la \u00eel poate l\u0103sa \u00een buzunarul omului, \u015fti\u0163i&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>-Am \u00een\u0163eles. Ultimul filtru?<\/p>\n<p>-Ultimul filtru este camera cu documentele.<\/p>\n<p>-Mda, \u015fi aici ce op\u0163iuni are?<\/p>\n<p>-P\u0103i, nu \u015ftiu.<\/p>\n<p>-Cum nu \u015fti\u0163i?<\/p>\n<p>-Aici a\u015ftept\u0103m s\u0103 ne sun, s\u0103-i d\u0103m indica\u0163ii&#8230; Da\u2019 \u00eenc\u0103 nu ne-am g\u00e2ndit cum facem.<\/p>\n<p>-B\u0103i, sunte\u0163i nebuni? C\u00e2nd trebuie s\u0103 sune?<\/p>\n<p>-P\u0103i, ar cam trebui&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>-\u015ei de ce nu sun\u0103??<\/p>\n<p>-Hm&#8230;Sta\u0163i a\u015fa! John, ai ajuns ieri la po\u015ft\u0103, s\u0103 pl\u0103te\u015fti telefonul?<\/p>\n<p>-\u0102\u0103\u0103, nu&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>-Cum, nu , mii de tunete \u015fi fulgere!<\/p>\n<p>-Pfuai, am uitat, s\u0103-mi bag&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>-B\u0103i, \u015fi \u0103la cum sun\u0103? Au \u00eenchis \u0103\u015ftia de la Orange telefonul ieri!<\/p>\n<p>-Pfuai&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>-Dobitocilor! Coco\u015fel, r\u0103spunde!&#8230;Coco\u015fel, r\u0103spunde!<\/p>\n<p>-Da, \u015fefu\u2019, tr\u0103i\u0163i&#8230;Sunt aicea, e bine al dracu\u2019&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>-Re\u00eentoarce \u015fi recupereaz\u0103 pachetul! Anul\u0103m misiunea!<\/p>\n<p>-\u015eefu\u2019, m\u0103 scuza\u0163i, da\u2019 nu am cum&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>-B\u0103i, e\u015fti nebun??<\/p>\n<p>-P\u0103i, m-am oprit \u015fi eu cu don\u2019\u015foara Brum\u0103, aici, la o teras\u0103 l\u00e2ng\u0103 \u015fi am magnetizat ceva, m\u0103 scuza\u0163i&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>-Ce m\u0103??? Adic\u0103 \u0103la e singur acolo?<\/p>\n<p>-P\u0103i, eu de un\u2019 s\u0103 \u015ftiu, \u015fefu&#8230;? Ce, io m-am dus cu el?<\/p>\n<p>-Pfuai, ni\u015fte incompeten\u0163i! M-am s\u0103turat de mizeriile voastre! Sunte\u0163i o ru\u015fine! O ru\u015fine!<\/p>\n<p>-\u015eefu, s\u0103 \u015ftii c\u0103 m\u0103 str\u00e2mb la tine, ha! Te imit!<\/p>\n<p>-Hai, l\u0103sa\u0163i r\u00e2sul \u015fi trece\u0163i la treab\u0103!<\/p>\n<p>-Ha, ha, ha, da, \u015fefu\u2019, am \u00een\u0163eles. \u00cel recuper\u0103m noi cumva pe Bont \u015fi apoi ie\u015fim la o bere, s\u0103 ne relax\u0103m.<\/p>\n<p><em>Din motive obiective, misiunea a fost anulat\u0103. Agentul Bont nu a reu\u015fit s\u0103 sustrag\u0103 documentele cu grila de toamn\u0103 de la inamic dar a putut, p\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103, s\u0103 se \u00eentoarc\u0103 la baz\u0103. Cu tot cu don\u2019\u015foara Brum\u0103. Pe care, \u015fti\u0163i&#8230;<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Departe de problemele cu care guvernul Rom\u00e2niei se confrunt\u0103, celebrul -007 tocmai \u00ee\u015fi dovede\u015fte (din nou) abilit\u0103\u0163ile extraordinare, \u00eentr-o misiune de recuperare a unor documente ultrasecrete, nu-i a\u015fa, pe un teritoriu inamic, greu de p\u0103truns &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[103,26],"tags":[193,297,1112,1535,2130],"class_list":["post-5710","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-promo","category-telefonul-fara-stil","tag-agent","tag-anulat","tag-documente","tag-grila","tag-misiune"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5710","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5710"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5710\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5710"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5710"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5710"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}