{"id":7227,"date":"2010-02-02T18:28:23","date_gmt":"2010-02-02T15:28:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/?p=7227"},"modified":"2010-02-02T18:28:23","modified_gmt":"2010-02-02T15:28:23","slug":"de-la-sarbatoare-de-import-la-cearceafuri-umede","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/2010\/02\/de-la-sarbatoare-de-import-la-cearceafuri-umede\/","title":{"rendered":"De la s\u0103rb\u0103toare de import la cearceafuri umede"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0\u00a0 \u00cenc\u0103 pu\u0163in \u015fi masculii mamiferelor bipede \u015fi consumatoare de planet\u0103 se vor buluci s\u0103-\u015fi goleasc\u0103 plasticele din buzunare pentru a pune m\u00e2na sau pu\u0163a pe ceva cald \u015fi umed.\u00a0 Desigur, m\u0103 refer la s\u0103rb\u0103toarea plin\u0103 de romantism \u015fi importat\u0103 de cel mai retard popor din zon\u0103, <strong>Sf\u00e2ntul Valentin<\/strong>. S\u0103rb\u0103toarea, nu poporul&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0\u00a0 Vor fi c\u00e2teva zile pline de inimioare, ursule\u0163i, c\u0103\u0163elu\u015fi b\u0103lo\u015fa\u0163i din plu\u015f, pr\u0103jiturele, c\u00e2ntece siropoase, mozoleal\u0103, futaiuri roz, flor\u0103rese r\u00e2njind a visterie mai plin\u0103 ca de obicei \u015fi, nu \u00een ultimul r\u00e2nd, super-oferte. O s\u0103 avem ochii, urechile, nasurile \u015fi g\u0103urile curului \u00eempuiate cu promo\u0163ii, reclame deosebite \u015fi accesorii gen \u201ef\u0103-\u0163i perechea fericit\u0103!\u201d. Fascinant! P\u0103i, fute-o, m\u0103, fute-o! S\u0103-i crape retina sub parietal. Pe ea, adic\u0103 perechea. Desigur, pentru un individ imun la virusul roman\u0163ios, chestiunile legate de dr\u0103g\u0103leal\u0103 \u015fi nevoia de aten\u0163ie sufleteasc\u0103 sporit\u0103 (\u015fi, aten\u0163ie, doar \u00een aceast\u0103 zi a anului!) par ni\u015fte mizerii care pot fi rezolvate cu un flacon de Domestos.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0\u00a0 Pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 lenjerii simandicoase, perni\u0163e, bombonele, b\u0103uturi fine (ei bine, da!), excursii \u00een \u0163inuturi unde hormoneala este la rang de art\u0103 sau floricele care mai de care mai colorate, iat\u0103 c\u0103 duduile se pot bucura \u015fi de alte minunate cadouri. De exemplu, o p\u0103s\u0103ric\u0103 pl\u00e2ngea c\u0103 ar fi inuman \u015fi devastator ca vr\u0103bioiul s\u0103-i aduc\u0103 \u00een dar un aparat de fitness, cu aceast\u0103 ocazie minunat\u0103. Mesajul b\u0103nuit c\u0103 ar ie\u015fi pe marginile ciocului de vr\u0103bioi ar fi unul clar: \u201dTe-ai \u00eengr\u0103\u015fat! Pe bune, e\u015fti gras\u0103, nu-mi \u00eencapi \u00een ochi&#8230; Pune piciorul pe banda asta, las\u0103 c\u0103 o reglez eu, las\u0103 m\u0103, n-auzi \u015fi bag\u0103 mare! La mul\u0163i ani, balenu\u0163a mea&#8230;\u201d. A\u015fa o fi. Da\u2019 b\u0103iatul m\u0103car ar fi un sincer. \u015ei i-ar prinde bine o c\u0103\u0163eleal\u0103 de calitate.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0\u00a0 Un alt comentariu acid a fost la adresa unui set dr\u0103gu\u0163 de bagaje. P\u0103i, nu, nu e vorba c\u0103 darul \u00eei ofer\u0103 femeii \u015fansa unei c\u0103l\u0103torii, c\u0103 poate pe undeva se ascunde \u015fi vreun bilet \u00een Haiti (pardon, Bora-Bora, m\u0103 ierta\u0163i)&#8230; Nu, mesajul este printre r\u00e2nduri \u015fi, din nou, este unul clar: \u201eIe\u015fi tu pe u\u015fa aia, bag\u0103-\u0163i \u00een po\u015fete \u015fi valize toate c\u0103caturile astea cu care mi-ai \u00eengropat camera \u015fi \u00eenchide-o pe dinafar\u0103! Nu, te duci doar tu, eu o s\u0103-\u0163i trimit restul de boarfe prin po\u015ft\u0103!\u201d. Paranoia na\u015fte  r\u0103ut\u0103\u0163i, evident, \u015fi omoar\u0103 doza de romantism din domni. \u015ei atunci, r\u0103m\u00e2n florile, bomboanele \u015fi ursule\u0163ii de plu\u015f. Mai ieftin, mai comod, mai de efect.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0\u00a0 Eu, de <strong>Sf\u00e2ntul Valentin<\/strong> (?), \u00eemi doresc s\u0103 fac <strong>sex<\/strong>. Glumesc, \u00eemi doresc asta \u00een fiecare zi. \u015ei ar trebui s\u0103 cump\u0103r flori \u015fi bomboane pentru asta?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0\u00a0 \u00cenc\u0103 pu\u0163in \u015fi masculii mamiferelor bipede \u015fi consumatoare de planet\u0103 se vor buluci s\u0103-\u015fi goleasc\u0103 plasticele din buzunare pentru a pune m\u00e2na sau pu\u0163a pe ceva cald \u015fi umed.\u00a0 Desigur, m\u0103 refer la s\u0103rb\u0103toarea &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30,103],"tags":[1646,1694,2556,2598,2852,2965,3042,3049,3516],"class_list":["post-7227","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-aberatia-de-intelect","category-promo","tag-import","tag-inimioare","tag-plus","tag-popor","tag-retard","tag-sarbatoare","tag-sex","tag-sfant","tag-valentin"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7227","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7227"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7227\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7227"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7227"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7227"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}