{"id":7541,"date":"2010-02-24T18:17:07","date_gmt":"2010-02-24T15:17:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/?p=7541"},"modified":"2010-02-24T18:17:07","modified_gmt":"2010-02-24T15:17:07","slug":"horoscopul-saptamanii-22-28-februarie-2010","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/2010\/02\/horoscopul-saptamanii-22-28-februarie-2010\/","title":{"rendered":"Horoscopul s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2nii 22-28 februarie 2010"},"content":{"rendered":"

A trecut \u015fi Valeric\u0103, ne lovim de mirificul Dragobete, ne vom umili \u00een fa\u0163a doamnelor de M\u0103r\u0163i\u015for \u015fi Ziua Fumeii. Vremea c\u0103lduroas\u0103 ne-a lovit fe\u0163ele de d\u00e2mbi, r\u00e2z\u00e2nd tacit \u00een fa\u0163a unei r\u0103celi premeditate. Jean Horoscopizdul<\/em> s-a antrenat c\u00e2teva zile \u00een mun\u0163i, al\u0103turi de budi\u015fti consacra\u0163i \u00een arta paranormalului. Astrele s-au descr\u0103cit \u00een fa\u0163a acestuia prevestind fapte mari pentru zodiile nefericite.<\/p>\n

Berbec<\/strong>. Se va sim\u0163i o oarecare tensiune \u00een rela\u0163ia de cuplu. Motivul este unul simplu: m\u00e2nc\u0103rimile. Iubita nu v\u0103 mai iart\u0103 de data aceasta, nu v\u0103 mai crede pe cuv\u00e2nt. Este \u015fi normal \u00een contextul \u00een care de 2 luni de zile \u00eei da\u0163i \u00een cap singur c\u00e2nd v\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103, \u015fi v\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103 …<\/p>\n

Taur<\/strong>. Cornutele depresive vor adopta o leg\u0103tur\u0103 str\u00e2ns\u0103 cu ceilal\u0163i posesori de fudulii. Aceast\u0103 poate fi denumit\u0103 sinucidere \u00een grup. S\u0103tui de mugitul anost \u015fi de c\u0103tre un respect obligat, afi\u015fat la serviciu al\u0103turi de muncitorii de planta\u0163ie, vor \u00eencerca, cu dou\u0103 monede de 1 ban pe ochi, s\u0103 treac\u0103 r\u00e2ul purific\u0103rii c\u0103tre eter. Din p\u0103cate s\u0103 \u015fti\u0163i c\u0103 nu am auzit pe nimeni s\u0103 se asfixieze \u00een fosa septic\u0103.<\/p>\n

Gemeni<\/strong>. \u0102\u015ftia, ca de obicei, o freac\u0103. Au dus lenea la rang mondial, perfec\u0163ion\u00e2nd-o \u00een fiecare zi. Miercuri se ive\u015fte ocazia s\u0103 dea din cur pe o muzic\u0103 ciudat\u0103. N-o vor face, vor b\u0103ga \u00een schimb mal\u0163 la ma\u0163, agale \u015fi duios precum b\u0103tr\u00e2nii satului lovi\u0163i de \u0163uic\u0103 prematur.<\/p>\n

Rac<\/strong>. Cracii se vor lovi de interviuri. A\u015fa le numesc eu, interviuri, momentele \u00een care e\u015fti s\u0103ltat de c\u0103tre poli\u0163ie \u015fi obligat s\u0103 numeri c\u00e2te be\u0163e de chibrit \u00eencap \u00eentr-o celul\u0103 comunist\u0103. Aproape to\u0163i din aceast\u0103 zodie sunt agrama\u0163i \u015fi dislexici, a\u015fa c\u0103 se vor \u00een\u0163elege de minune \u00een timpul procesului verbal cu veritabilul posesor de \u015fapc\u0103 \u015fi bulan.<\/p>\n

Leu<\/strong>. Pepeloaica, \u00een speran\u0163a c\u0103 va primi \u015fi ea de Dragobete o halc\u0103 de carne proasp\u0103t\u0103, \u00eengurgitat\u0103 inghinal, va apela la farmecul ei minunat. Se va \u00een\u0163oli cu dresuri rupte animalic sub fese \u015fi un sutien cu o putere neb\u0103nuit\u0103 de a face dintr-o \u0163\u00e2\u0163\u0103 fleo\u015fc\u0103it\u0103 subiect de monolog \u00een baia b\u0103ie\u0163ilor. Va primi o recompens\u0103 cu v\u00e2rf, fiind violat\u0103 de c\u0103tre \u015fase boschetari cu negi \u00een scara blocului.<\/p>\n

Fecioara<\/strong>. Pe cei din aceast\u0103 zodie \u00eei love\u015fte astenia de prim\u0103var\u0103. Vor avea st\u0103ri de sl\u0103biciune fizic\u0103, fapt care va duce \u015fi la t\u0103ierea de pe lista de zi cu zi a download-ului de pornache de pe torent. Sc\u0103derea capacit\u0103\u0163ii de lucru intelectual nu va surprinde pe nimeni, suntem obi\u015fnui\u0163i s\u0103 dea mai multe rateuri dec\u00e2t un motociclist amator.<\/p>\n

Balan\u0163\u0103<\/strong>. Ve\u0163i sim\u0163i \u00een aceast\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na nevoia de a burta jos. Nemaiav\u00e2nd bani nici de un m\u0103r\u0163i\u015for am\u0103r\u00e2t d-apoi de un abonament la sal\u0103, v\u0103 ve\u0163i amenaja acas\u0103 diverse aparate de for\u0163\u0103, confec\u0163ionate din peturi de bere, damigene de vin \u015fi butoaie de \u0163uic\u0103. Partea bun\u0103 este c\u0103 mai \u00eent\u00e2i va trebui s\u0103 le goli\u0163i. \u0102sta da efort, fir-ar mama voastr\u0103 de be\u0163ivi indolen\u0163i.<\/p>\n

Scorpion<\/strong>. Zile negre pentru scorpihoi\u0163i. R\u0103ceala \u00eei va urm\u0103ri precum ne\u015fansa din via\u0163\u0103. Nu vor sc\u0103pa nici de cic\u0103lelile colegilor de munc\u0103. Vor ajunge subiect de caterinc\u0103 \u00een s\u0103lile de stand-up. Vor fi umili\u0163i \u00een public de c\u0103tre pre\u015fcolari. Vor fi scuipa\u0163i de c\u0103tre cer\u015fetori orbi. \u00cen rest vor r\u00e2de, asta dac\u0103 vor mai avea din\u0163i dup\u0103 b\u0103taia primit\u0103 \u00een troleu de la ter\u0163i b\u0103tr\u00e2ni \u015fchiopi.<\/p>\n

S\u0103get\u0103tor<\/strong>. O zi de vineri excelent\u0103 pentru arca\u015fii urbani. \u00ce\u015fi vor sparge banii \u015fi iubitele \u00een cluburile bucure\u015ftene \u00eenconjura\u0163i de cei dragi, adic\u0103 persoane necunoscute intersectate pe drumul spre birtul muzical. To\u0163i vor veni cu drag pentru dumneavoastr\u0103 nicidecum s\u0103 bea moca.<\/p>\n

Capricorn<\/strong>. Zg\u00e2rci\u0163i p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een m\u0103duva oaselor, capricornii se vor sf\u00e2r\u015fi pe un pat jegos de spital, pat \u00eemp\u0103r\u0163it cu doi colegi de suferin\u0163\u0103, un s\u0103msar \u015fi un be\u0163iv. Nu vor accepta s\u0103 dea niciun ban asistentei s\u0103-i spele la cur, d-apoi doctorului s\u0103-i opereze. Vor le\u015fina \u00eentr-o zi de s\u00e2mb\u0103t\u0103 dup\u0103 lungi chinuri.<\/p>\n

V\u0103rs\u0103tor<\/strong>. De s\u0103rb\u0103toare dragostei ce pot face oamenii p\u00e2lnie altceva dec\u00e2t s\u0103 bage spirtoase la pateu? Corect, vor dormi sub clar de lun\u0103 \u015fi sub propria vom\u0103 pe uli\u0163ele urbane ferici\u0163i. Vor bea cu poft\u0103 singuri cu ajutorul b\u0103uturii altora.<\/p>\n

Pe\u015fti<\/strong>. O s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 normal\u0103 pentru aceast\u0103 zodie, pres\u0103rat\u0103 cu depuneri de icre \u00een ni\u015fte chilo\u0163i de dam\u0103 g\u0103si\u0163i \u00een liftul corpora\u0163iei.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A trecut \u015fi Valeric\u0103, ne lovim de mirificul Dragobete, ne vom umili \u00een fa\u0163a doamnelor de M\u0103r\u0163i\u015for \u015fi Ziua Fumeii. Vremea c\u0103lduroas\u0103 ne-a lovit fe\u0163ele de d\u00e2mbi, r\u00e2z\u00e2nd tacit \u00een fa\u0163a unei r\u0103celi premeditate. Jean …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[87,103],"tags":[353,1592,2655,3661],"class_list":["post-7541","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cate-n-luna-si-stele-verzi","category-promo","tag-astre","tag-horoscop","tag-preziceri","tag-zodii"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7541","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7541"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7541\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7541"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7541"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7541"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}