{"id":7690,"date":"2010-03-10T17:46:23","date_gmt":"2010-03-10T14:46:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/?p=7690"},"modified":"2010-03-10T17:46:23","modified_gmt":"2010-03-10T14:46:23","slug":"interviuri-din-casa-ca-sa-treaca-primejdia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/2010\/03\/interviuri-din-casa-ca-sa-treaca-primejdia\/","title":{"rendered":"Interviuri din cas\u0103. Ca s\u0103 treac\u0103 primejdia."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Reporterul de investiga\u0163ii periculoase al <strong>Revistei Cioburi<\/strong> a aflat de la sursele sale de curent c\u0103 undeva prin zona redac\u0163iei \u00ee\u015fi desf\u0103\u015foar\u0103 \u00een mare secret activitatea o organiza\u0163ie paramilitar\u0103 de rom\u00e2ni-rom\u00e2ni, specializa\u0163i \u00een distrugerea turnurilor, eliminarea cailor \u015fi capturarea nebunilor. Scopul lor este de a instaura monarhia, cu orice mijloace \u015fi nu se dau \u00een l\u0103turi s\u0103 foloseasc\u0103 nevinova\u0163i pe post de pioni. Se intituleaz\u0103 <strong><em>Mi\u015fcarea \u015eahi\u015ftilor Masca\u0163i<\/em><\/strong> \u015fi tr\u0103iesc printre noi, ceea ce ar trebui s\u0103 ne dea de g\u00e2ndit. Sau m\u0103car de b\u0103ut.<\/p>\n<p>Urm\u0103ri\u0163i \u00een continuare discu\u0163ia pe care reporterul revistei noastre a purtat-o \u00eentr-unul din avanposturile organiza\u0163iei amintite mai sus, respectiv sub o mas\u0103 de \u015fah din parcul Carol. Ferea!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Reporter<\/span>: <strong>De ce m-a\u0163i b\u0103gat sub mas\u0103?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Robert<\/span> (<em>alias Robi Wan-Kenobi, lider de grup)<\/em>: Pentru c\u0103, nu-i a\u015fa, \u00eentr-un final ajungem sub p\u0103m\u00e2nt \u015fi atunci trebuie s\u0103 o lu\u0103m treptat: \u00eent\u00e2i sub mas\u0103, apoi sub\u00a0 papuc (sau invers, nu mai \u015ftiu exact), mai apoi sub parterul spitalului, la identificare, \u015fi \u00een cele din urm\u0103 la doi metri sub nivelul m\u0103rii. S\u0103 te obi\u015fnuie\u015fti, de aia.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Bil\u0103<\/span> (<em>alias Roacheru\u2019, responsabil cu nelini\u015ftea)<\/em>: Nu pot spune exact. \u00cenc\u0103 nu \u015ftiu dac\u0103 este vorba de o nou\u0103 conspira\u0163ie sau de o mai veche constipa\u0163ie.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">\u015eacalu\u2019<\/span> (<em>alias \u015eacalu\u2019, mai mare dec\u00e2t caii)<\/em>: Comentezi sau asa e\u015fti tu curios ca o fat\u0103 mare \u00een fa\u0163a p#lii?<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Ghidushie<\/span> (<em>alias Kasparov jr., \u00eenalt c\u00e2t un turn)<\/em>: Pentru c\u0103 pot, pentru c\u0103-\u0163i place.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/pinguinulfurios.wordpress.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">Adriana<\/a><\/span> (<em>alias Pinguinulfurios, militant\u0103 \u00eempotriva nebunilor):<\/em> De-aia. Pentru c\u0103 am f\u0103cut karate. \u6ce8\u76ee<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Diana<\/span> (<em>alias Deedee, bolnav\u0103)<\/em>: He, he, poate prestezi \u015fi tu ceva. Bolnav\u0103, bolnav\u0103 dar sufletul tot cere. Pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 asta, trebuie s\u0103 avem grij\u0103 c\u00e2nd vorbim, r\u0103ul ne p\u00e2nde\u015fte la suprafa\u0163\u0103.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Reporter<\/span>: <strong>De unde p\u00e2n\u0103 unde \u015eahi\u015fti?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Robert<\/span>: Din mo\u015fi str\u0103mo\u015fi. Primul a fost G\u00e2nditorul de la Hamangia iar noi suntem urma\u015fii lui. G\u00e2ndim mai tot timpul, mut\u0103m piese. \u00cen special piese de mobilier. Eu lucrez la o fabric\u0103 de mobil\u0103, \u015fti\u0163i&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration:  underline;\">Bil\u0103<\/span>: E o poveste mai lung\u0103. \u00cenc\u0103 de mic copil am fost fascinat de prepeli\u0163e. A\u015fa c\u0103 m-am rugat de p\u0103rin\u0163i p\u00e2n\u0103 mi-au luat o trotinet\u0103. Apoi mi-am cump\u0103rat \u015fi prima minge de 35. Dup\u0103 prima zi de \u015fcoal\u0103 am \u00een\u0163eles c\u0103 politica nu este de mine. A\u015fa c\u0103 m-am hot\u0103r\u00e2t s\u0103 devin \u015fahist.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">\u015eacalu\u2019<\/span>: Ce c\u0103caturi de \u00eentreb\u0103ri po\u0163i s\u0103 pui&#8230; \u00cenc\u0103 nu m-am edificat \u00een privin\u0163a ta \u015fi a curiozit\u0103\u0163ii tale a\u015fa c\u0103 nu \u00ee\u0163i r\u0103spund nici la \u00eentrebarea asta.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Ghidushie<\/span>: Nepricep\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 la fotbal, semin\u0163e \u015fi alte m\u0103c\u0103rii, am avut de ales \u00eentre dou\u0103 sporturi c\u00e2nd eram mai mic: \u015fahul si barbutul. Cum nu am noroc la zar&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Adriana<\/span>: De la \u201e\u015e\u201d p\u00e2n\u0103 la \u201eI\u201d prin \u201ea\u201d, \u201eh\u201d, \u201ei\u201d, \u201e\u015f\u201d, \u201et\u201d.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Diana<\/span>: A\u015fa \u00ee\u015fi zic oamenii \u0103\u015ftia de c\u00e2nd am venit aici, eu vroiam sa joc o tabl\u0103. I-am vazut cu tablele \u00een m\u00e2na dar apoi mi-am dat seama c\u0103 f\u0103ceau curat. M-am p\u0103calit. Dar nici nu plec, c\u0103 e frig. Stau p\u00e2na vine prim\u0103vara. \u015ei a\u015fa sunt sensibil\u0103.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Reporter<\/span>: <strong>Ce ave\u0163i cu caii?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Robert<\/span>: Cu caii am o problem\u0103 de c\u00e2nd eram mic. Fiind mai cr\u0103c\u0103nat, am fost luat peste picior de \u0163\u00e2ncii de la \u015fcoal\u0103, c\u0103 vezi doamne m-am n\u0103scut pe cal. \u015ei mi-am propus s\u0103 extermin to\u0163i caii numai ca s\u0103 le demonstrez c\u0103 nu m\u0103 puteam na\u015fte pe un cal. Serios, nu r\u00e2de\u0163i&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Bil\u0103<\/span>: N-am nimic cu caii. Ba chiar m\u0103 distreaz\u0103, mai ales cei care sar peste piese cu penisul \u00een erec\u0163ie. \u00a0De ce crezi c\u0103 pionii au casc\u0103 de protec\u0163ie pe cap?<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">\u015eacalu\u2019<\/span>: Acum chiar c\u0103 te iau la palme&#8230; Cine p#zda m\u0103-tii te-a trimis pe tine s\u0103 ne spionezi, m\u0103h? B\u0103h, dac\u0103 st\u0103team acum \u00een picioare \u015fi nu sub masa asta de beton, \u00ee\u0163i ar\u0103tam eu ce am \u00een comun cu caii!!!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Ghidushie<\/span>: Nu \u00eei idolatrizez, nu sunt ecvestru. Totu\u015fi, \u015ftiu destule posesoare de pl\u0103ci tectonice care i-ar iubi de vreo dou\u0103-trei ori.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Adriana<\/span>: Except\u00e2ndu-l pe \u015eacalu\u00a0 care e mai tare dec\u00e2t caii.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Diana<\/span>: Cu caii nimic dar \u015eaCalu m\u0103 scoate din s\u0103rite. Nu \u015ftiu exact care-i motivul. Cred c\u0103 e el talentat. Oricum nu pot spune mai mult \u00een public, c\u0103 m\u0103 dau afar\u0103.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Reporter<\/span>: <strong>Monarhia este o solu\u0163ie?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Robert<\/span>: Da, este o solu\u0163ie. Uita\u0163i-v\u0103 la mine, ca lider de grup. Regatul meu poate s\u0103 confirme. S\u0103 confirme c\u0103 este o solu\u0163ie proast\u0103, desigur.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Bil\u0103<\/span>: Depinde \u015fi de cine ar fi rege. Ca s\u0103 lu\u0103m un exemplu, \u00eentre regele Mihai \u015fi regele manelelor eu a\u015f alege o cin\u0103 romantic\u0103 cu Angelina Jolie. Cu condi\u0163ia ca chelnerul s\u0103 fie Brad Pitt.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">\u015eacalu\u2019<\/span>: E\u015fti de c\u0103cat, v\u0103d c\u0103 nu te la\u015fi. Cred c\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 la final fundul t\u0103u regal o s-o \u00eencaseze grav. A\u015ftept s\u0103 pui ultima \u00eentrebare \u015fi-atunci s\u0103 vezi!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Ghidushie<\/span>: Prin Buthan \u015fi la mine \u00een cas\u0103! Lua\u0163i aminte: \u00cen camera mea eu sunt mo\u0163ul!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Adriana<\/span>: \u0162inutul glaciar este o monarhie absolut\u0103, condus\u0103 de c\u0103tre <em>z\u0103 <\/em>unicul Pinguinfurios. Domnesc, nu guvernez. De-aia m\u0103 vrea lumea!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Diana<\/span>: \u00centreb\u0103ri mai u\u015foare nu ai? Mai de fete, a\u015fa. P\u00e2na la urm\u0103 ne\u015ftiind despre ce Doamne iart\u0103-m\u0103 vorbe\u015fti, voi incerca s\u0103 r\u0103spund evaziv. A\u015fa c\u0103, daaa, depinde de situa\u0163ie. Poate fi o solu\u0163ie dar poate la fel de bine s\u0103 nu fie.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Reporter<\/span>: <strong>V\u0103 urca\u0163i des \u00een turnuri?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Robert<\/span>: Nu pentru c\u0103 eu, de obicei, sunt \u00een pom. Mai schimb pomul din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd. C\u00e2nd eram mai mic m\u0103 suiam \u00een turnurile de la combinatul chimic din ora\u015f, c\u0103-mi spuneau amicii s\u0103 inspir aburul care ie\u015fea pe acolo dac\u0103 vreau s\u0103 devin mai puternic. Copii r\u0103i&#8230; Ce, ce v\u0103 uita\u0163i la coada mea? \u015ei nu e coad\u0103, e al treilea picior.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Bil\u0103<\/span>: Doar c\u00e2nd m\u0103 apuc\u0103 sictirul \u015fi m\u0103 taie pi\u015farea. Concomitent.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">\u015eacalu\u2019<\/span>: Eu am r\u0103u de \u00een\u0103l\u0163ime \u015fi nu urc nic\u0103ieri, nu vezi c\u0103 i-am convins \u015fi pe \u0103\u015ftia s\u0103 mai cobor\u00e2m un pic de pe b\u0103ncute?!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Ghidushie<\/span>: Nu cunosc pozi\u0163ia, \u00eemi pare r\u0103u. Mie \u00eemi place doar pe la spate, \u00eentre \u0163\u00e2\u0163e.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Adriana<\/span>: Mai tot timpul. Turnuri de pachete de \u0163ig\u0103ri \u015fi pahare de vodk\u0103. Noroc c\u0103 n-am r\u0103u de \u00een\u0103l\u0163ime.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Diana<\/span>: De ce am face asta? De ce sa ne urc\u0103m \u00een turnuri? Nu am zis c\u0103 le distrugem? Aaaa&#8230; sau vorbeai la modul figurat? P\u0103i a\u015fa da, \u00een fiecare zi ai de urcat c\u00e2te un turn. Mai dr\u0103gu\u0163 e c\u00e2nd ajungi sus \u015fi te plictise\u015fti. Tot la modul figurat&#8230; Nu, nu asta ai vrut s\u0103 \u00eentrebi?\u00a0 Bine, eu urc numai p\u00e2n\u0103 la etajul I, acolo stau.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Reporter<\/span>: <strong>Nebunii nu-\u015fi fac treaba?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Robert<\/span>: Cu nebunii \u00ee\u0163i faci cel mai bine treaba. Ai de f\u0103cut o treab\u0103 murdar\u0103, pac, trimi\u0163i un nebun. Ce, tu te \u015ftergi singur la cur? \u015ei cine ar face-o pentru tine, nu un nebun?<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Bil\u0103<\/span>: Depinde de dispozi\u0163ie. C\u00e2nd se apuc\u0103 s\u0103 alerge \u00een zigzag pe terenul de joac\u0103 nu-i mai opre\u015fte nici biciul fermecat al lui \u015eacalu\u2019.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">\u015eacalu\u2019<\/span>: Da! Domnu\u2019 Bil\u0103 are dreptate, nu se mai poate cu ei, \u015fi-au luat-o \u00een cap! De c\u00e2te ori pui c\u0103ciuli\u0163a pe nebun o s\u0103 vezi c\u0103 \u00eencepe \u015fi se agit\u0103, nu te mai \u00een\u0163elegi cu el, atac\u0103 la regin\u0103 \u015fi vomit\u0103 dup\u0103 dou\u0103-trei minute&#8230; E grav \u015fi se trateaz\u0103 doar cu alcool!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Ghidushie<\/span>: \u00cei vedem la \u015ftiri. \u00ce\u015fi fac treaba cu v\u00e2rf \u015fi \u00eendesat. A\u0163i v\u0103zut hipopotamul? Tocmai ce m-am ferit de el.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Adriana<\/span>: Nebuni? Unde? Unde? Ce treab\u0103? Mare sau mic\u0103?<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Diana<\/span>: Fac, fac, de aceea incerc\u0103m s\u0103 \u00eei captur\u0103m. S\u0103 fac\u0103 \u015fi la noi cineva treab\u0103. Fiind nebuni nu pun prea multe \u00eentreb\u0103ri \u015fi ne descurc\u0103m mai u\u015for cu ei. Cei s\u0103nato\u015fi au prea multe de zis \u015fi nu \u015ftiu ce s\u0103 le r\u0103spund.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Reporter<\/span>: <strong>De ce v\u0103 ascunde\u0163i?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Robert<\/span>: Nu ne ascundem, a\u015fa mergem noi.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Bil\u0103<\/span>: Nu ne ascundem. Ne expunem doar latura care nu se vede.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">\u015eacalu\u2019<\/span>: De plictiseal\u0103!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Ghidushie<\/span>: Nu m\u0103 ascund, sunt invizibil. Dar m\u0103 sim\u0163i c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u0163i fac rocada mare.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Adriana<\/span>: Dup\u0103 ce c\u0103 te-am primit \u00een iglu-ul meu de la Polul Sud, f\u0103r\u0103 hart\u0103, f\u0103r\u0103 busol\u0103, legat la ochi, \u0163i se pare c\u0103 m\u0103 ascund?<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Diana<\/span>: De oamenii contamina\u0163i, de oamenii-cereal\u0103. Pot face foarte mult r\u0103u.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Reporter<\/span>: <strong>Ce vre\u0163i voi, de fapt?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Robert<\/span>: Eu, ca lider de grup, vreau s\u0103 ajung prima dat\u0103 \u00eentr-un grup. Sex \u00een grup. Dar f\u0103r\u0103 cai.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Bil\u0103<\/span>: Eu sunt unul dintre nebunii care are g\u00e2nduri m\u0103re\u0163e. Inten\u0163ionez s-o ard pe regin\u0103.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">\u015eacalu\u2019<\/span>: Eu vreau s\u0103 bat pe cineva \u015fi cred c\u0103 e\u015fti un candidat serios, cu \u015fanse mari s\u0103 \u00eemi cazi \u00een ghear\u0103!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Ghidushie<\/span>: Ni\u015fte simultane cu ter\u0163e.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Adriana<\/span>: Tu s\u0103 fii s\u0103n\u0103tos!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Diana<\/span>: : Eu s\u0103 beau alcool dar nu pot, sunt bolnav\u0103. Nu ma las\u0103 doctorul. \u015ei mai vreau ceva dar mi-e ru\u015fine s\u0103 zic, poate cite\u015fte Mama.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Reporter<\/span>: <strong>Voi fi \u00een pericol dup\u0103 aceast\u0103 discu\u0163ie?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Robert<\/span>: O, da! De aici nici musca nu scap\u0103 nef#tut\u0103!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Bil\u0103<\/span>: Nu. Doar am spus mai sus c\u0103 mie mi s-a c\u0103\u015funat pe regin\u0103.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">\u015eacalu\u2019<\/span>: B\u0103h, io acum \u00eemi dau seama c\u0103 nu v\u0103 cunosc, cine sunte\u0163i voi, m\u0103h? Aoleu!! Cred c\u0103 am \u00eencurcat masa&#8230; \u00cemi cer scuze. Stai lini\u015ftit c\u0103 pe tine tot te a\u015ftept la ie\u015firea din parc&#8230; A\u015fa, s\u0103 te <em>dicstrug pisihologic<\/em>!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Ghidushie<\/span>: Nu sunt grobian dar nu-mi place s\u0103 dau \u015fah mat. Ce zici, o punem de-un pat?<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Adriana<\/span>: : Depinde ce \u00een\u0163elegi prin pericol. E at\u00e2t de alb aici&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Diana<\/span>: Nu cred. Pe unde o iei spre cas\u0103?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Reporterul de investiga\u0163ii periculoase al Revistei Cioburi a aflat de la sursele sale de curent c\u0103 undeva prin zona redac\u0163iei \u00ee\u015fi desf\u0103\u015foar\u0103 \u00een mare secret activitatea o organiza\u0163ie paramilitar\u0103 de rom\u00e2ni-rom\u00e2ni, specializa\u0163i \u00een distrugerea turnurilor, &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[595,674,1722,2157,2235,2815,2821,2842,2864,2926,3446],"class_list":["post-7690","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-aberatia-de-intelect","tag-cai","tag-casa","tag-interviu","tag-monarhie","tag-nebuni","tag-rege","tag-regina","tag-reporter","tag-revista-cioburi","tag-sah","tag-turnuri"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7690","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7690"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7690\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7690"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7690"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7690"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}