{"id":8989,"date":"2010-10-20T16:49:25","date_gmt":"2010-10-20T13:49:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/?p=8989"},"modified":"2010-10-20T16:49:25","modified_gmt":"2010-10-20T13:49:25","slug":"planseta-maimutelor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/2010\/10\/planseta-maimutelor\/","title":{"rendered":"Plan\u015feta maimu\u0163elor"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Am urm\u0103rit asear\u0103 spectaculosul recital de autogoluri al celor de la <strong>CFR Cluj<\/strong>, \u00een meciul cu Bayern Munchen. Abia azi am aflat c\u0103 scorul final a fost 3 la 2 pentru nem\u0163i, \u015fi nu 2 la 1, a\u015fa cum am remarcat eu. Ai dracu\u2019 nem\u0163ii \u0103\u015ftia, muncesc \u015fi-n somn&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Nu vreau s\u0103 comentez \u00een niciun fel con\u0163inutul tehnic al confrunt\u0103rii pentru c\u0103 nu m\u0103 pricep. Las asta \u00een seama colegilor mei, academicienii, respectiv a domnului Bil\u0103, \u015fef la <em>Departamentul Sportiv Semi-Forza<\/em> <em>Steaua<\/em> al <strong>Revistei Cioburi<\/strong>. Ce mi-a s\u0103rit \u00een ochi, \u00een schimb, nu a fost o petard\u0103 sau vreo brichet\u0103 din tribune, ci tocmai atmosfera f\u0103cut\u0103 de spectatori precum \u015fi diferen\u0163a de mentalitate dintre <em>ai lor<\/em> \u015fi <em>ai no\u015ftri<\/em>. \u015ei, inevitabil, mi-aduc aminte de recentul \u201ederby\u201d dintre Dinamo \u015fi Steaua. Mi-aduc aminte nu de meciul \u00een sine, destul de anost, ci de confruntarea sus\u0163inut\u0103 cu mult\u0103 abnega\u0163ie de suporterii celor dou\u0103 echipe. Mai exact, tradi\u0163ionalele lupte de maimu\u0163e.<\/p>\n<p>Nu am s\u0103 \u00een\u0163eleg niciodat\u0103 (\u015fi nu cred c\u0103 este ceva de \u00een\u0163eles) ce scurt-circuite se produc \u00eentre sinapsele celor doi sau trei neuroni afla\u0163i sub scalpul <em>ultra\u015filor<\/em>. Pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 faptul c\u0103 partea sportiv\u0103 a unui meci, adic\u0103 partea interesant\u0103 \u015fi important\u0103, nu excit\u0103 prea mult receptorii atrofia\u0163i ai gibonilor aminti\u0163i mai sus, nici m\u0103car ideea c\u0103 ar putea s\u0103-\u015fi umple mecla cu s\u00e2nge nu-i \u0163ine departe de stadion. De fapt, tocmai asta cred c\u0103 este \u015fi ideea, s\u0103 \u00eempart\u0103 ni\u015fte picioare \u015fi pumni, asezona\u0163i puternic cu \u201emuie\u201d \u015fi \u201esugi p#la\u201d. Imaginile de la tv vorbesc de la sine.<\/p>\n<p>Solu\u0163ia de cur\u0103\u0163are a suporterilor-parazi\u0163ilor oferit\u0103 de Jandarmerie nu este una tocmai eficient\u0103. Adic\u0103 d\u0103 rezultate pe moment dar nu de lung\u0103 durat\u0103. O solu\u0163ie optim\u0103 \u015fi eficient\u0103 ar fi cazarea maimu\u0163elor \u00een taberele militare din Afganistan. Acolo, \u00eembr\u0103ca\u0163i, hr\u0103ni\u0163i \u015fi \u00eenarma\u0163i corespunz\u0103tor (mai ceva ca la m\u0103-sa natur\u0103 acas\u0103), b\u0103ie\u0163ii responsabili cu scandalul \u00een \u015fi pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 stadioane vor putea s\u0103 pun\u0103 \u00een aplicare toate metodele de scuipat, \u00eenjurat, fut#t bocanci \u00een gur\u0103 \u015fi pumni \u00een nas,  plus c\u0103 vor avea bonus \u015fi arma cu gloan\u0163e adev\u0103rate.<\/p>\n<p>\u00cemi doresc s\u0103 stau a\u015fezat confortabil pe un scaun de p\u00e2nz\u0103, privind lini\u015ftit cum la 15 metri \u00een fa\u0163a unui vehicul de recunoa\u015ftere se deplaseaz\u0103 un grup de <em>ultra\u015fi<\/em>, \u00eembr\u0103ca\u0163i militar \u015fi transpir\u00e2nd abundent. Apoi, c\u00e2nd vor c\u0103lca pe mina amplasat\u0103 de talibani, s\u0103-mi iau acuarela \u015fi s\u0103 \u00eencerc s\u0103 nimeresc c\u00e2t mai bine ro\u015ful acela care va \u0163\u00e2\u015fni \u00een toate p\u0103r\u0163ile. Toate astea, cu Ilie Dobre \u00een c\u0103\u015fti, la emisiunea <strong><em>Fotbal minut cu minut<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Am urm\u0103rit asear\u0103 spectaculosul recital de autogoluri al celor de la CFR Cluj, \u00een meciul cu Bayern Munchen. Abia azi am aflat c\u0103 scorul final a fost 3 la 2 pentru nem\u0163i, \u015fi nu 2 &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[96,103],"tags":[188,869,1486,1963,2037,2097,2251,3464],"class_list":["post-8989","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-frustrari-din-cartier","category-promo","tag-afganistan","tag-confruntare","tag-giboni","tag-maimute","tag-meci","tag-militari","tag-neuroni","tag-ultras"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8989","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8989"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8989\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8989"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8989"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8989"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}