{"id":9030,"date":"2010-10-22T17:36:47","date_gmt":"2010-10-22T14:36:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/?p=9030"},"modified":"2010-10-22T17:36:47","modified_gmt":"2010-10-22T14:36:47","slug":"analiza-doctorului-pilda-7","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/2010\/10\/analiza-doctorului-pilda-7\/","title":{"rendered":"Analiza Doctorului Pild\u0103 #7"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0 Rom\u00e2nii sunt un popor \u00eenc\u0103rcat de probleme din cele mai felurite, de la pensii mici p\u00e2n\u0103 la penisuri<\/strong> late. Unele din ele nu le rezolv\u0103 nimeni, indeferent c\u00e2te ture de stadion ar face B\u0103nel Nicoli\u0163\u0103, altele, \u00eens\u0103, sunt l\u0103murite de diver\u015fi speciali\u015fti \u00een psihologie, sexologie<\/strong>, astrologie, terapie de orice fel, ufologie etc., colaboratori ai diverselor publica\u0163ii cu priz\u0103 mare la creierul neted al cititorilor.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 Libertatea<\/a><\/em><\/strong>, de exemplu, ofer\u0103 zilnic celor n\u0103p\u0103stui\u0163i o rubric\u0103 unde ace\u015ftia \u00ee\u015fi pot expune \u00a0problemele sexuale<\/strong> specialistului de serviciu. De obicei, specialistul este reprezentat fie de vreo t\u00e2rf\u0103<\/strong> local\u0103 (neap\u0103rat actri\u0163\u0103 porno<\/strong>, de parc\u0103 dac\u0103 a supt nu \u015ftiu c\u00e2te p#li \u00een fa\u0163a camerei sau \u015fi-a tencuit mecla cu litri de sperm\u0103<\/strong> de-a lungul carierei \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 \u015ftie toate chestiunile legate de sex<\/strong>), fie vreun doctor cu treizeci de specializ\u0103ri la activ. Revenind la gigeii cu probleme sexuale<\/strong>, ast\u0103zi, un anume B.G. din Bucure\u015fti (cu siguran\u0163\u0103 nu exist\u0103 \u00een realitate, c\u00e2t de idiot s\u0103 fii s\u0103 scrii la ziar despre disfunc\u0163iile sexuale<\/strong>?) are o problem\u0103 cu a\u0163a de la pu\u0163ulic\u0103. Doamna Monica C\u0103lug\u0103ru (specialistul de serviciu, cum spuneam) \u00eei d\u0103 repede cu sfatul peste nas, preciz\u00e2nd la final, ca orice doctor care se respect\u0103, s\u0103 fac\u0103 neap\u0103rat sex protejat, indiferent de situa\u0163ie (asta mi-aduce aminte de o situa\u0163ie real\u0103, la un doctor adev\u0103rat, unde pacientul a venit pl\u00e2ng\u00e2ndu-se de amor\u0163eala m\u00e2inii st\u00e2ngi iar finalul consultului l-a surprins pe doctor cu testicolele pacientului \u00een palm\u0103; voi dezvolta subiectul cu alt\u0103 ocazie).<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 Specialistul de serviciu al Revistei Cioburi<\/strong>, celebrul Doctor Pild\u0103,<\/em><\/strong> a \u0163inut neap\u0103rat s\u0103 l\u0103mureasc\u0103 un alt cititor al rubricii din Libertatea<\/em><\/strong>, r\u0103mas cu problema \u00een eter. Dup\u0103 cum pute\u0163i observa din poza de mai jos (sau chiar pe articolul original), un t\u00e2n\u0103r xxx se afl\u0103 \u00een aceea\u015fi situa\u0163ie, cu funia deasupra capului, respectiv cu a\u0163a nerupt\u0103.\u00a0 Pentru c\u0103 explica\u0163ia psiho-sexologului Monica C\u0103lug\u0103ru nu a fost \u00eendeajuns de clar\u0103, Doctorul Pild\u0103<\/em><\/strong> a considerat necesar s\u0103-\u015fi ajute colegul de breasl\u0103 \u015fi s\u0103 salveze un suflet \u201etimid dar activ sexual\u201d. A\u015fadar, \u00eei d\u0103m cuv\u00e2ntul domnului doctor:<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201eStimate cititor cu a\u0163a nerupt\u0103, am r\u0103mas profund mi\u015fcat de problema dumitale \u015fi, ca un sus\u0163in\u0103tor al jur\u0103m\u00e2ntului lui Hipocrate dar \u015fi al principiilor lui Bachus, am considerat c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 prime\u015fti o explica\u0163ie pertinent\u0103. Am \u00een\u0163eles c\u0103 laba a devenit dureroas\u0103 pentru tine iar \u00een momentele de alint cu propria-\u0163i p#l\u0103 te sim\u0163i, practic, cu m\u00e2inile legate. Oricum ai interpreta, tot a\u0163a e de vin\u0103. Am remarcat c\u0103 e\u015fti activ sexual, ceea ce e bine, \u00eens\u0103 recomand cu t\u0103rie ca aceasta activitate s\u0103 fie practicat\u0103 cu o persoan\u0103 l\u00e2ng\u0103 tine (femeie, \u00een mod normal) dar, chiar \u015fi a\u015fa, nu m\u00e2na ta trebuie s\u0103 fie \u00een jurul p#lii ci pup\u0103za partenerei. Po\u0163i \u00eencerca simpaticul joc \u201e\u015ei pup\u0103za zvrrrrr \u00een p#zda jup\u00e2nesei!\u201d \u00eens\u0103 doar dac\u0103 prietena ta vine cu o prieten\u0103 de-a ei. Nu am \u00een\u0163eles o chestiune: \u201em\u0103 masturbez des numai frec\u00e2nd penisul<\/strong> \u015fi at\u00e2t…\u201d. P\u0103i, recomand cu t\u0103rie s\u0103 te masturbezi doar frec\u00e2nd penisul \u015fi at\u00e2t. C\u00e2nd eram \u015fi eu t\u00e2n\u0103r, am \u00eencercat diverse metode de a m\u0103 masturba, plictisit de a freca menta \u00een acela\u015fi mod, ca s\u0103 zic a\u015fa. Crede-m\u0103, e bine s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2i un clasic. Eu am \u00eencercat \u015fi \u201eb\u0103l\u0103citul spaghetei \u00een ap\u0103 pe aragaz\u201d, \u201etrasul clopotelor la sfoara cu smotocei de cr\u0103pau m\u00e2\u0163ele juc\u00e2ndu-se cu ea\u201d, \u201es\u0103 facem salat\u0103 a la russe f\u0103r\u0103 mixer dar cu degetele \u00een priz\u0103\u201d (asta \u00eemi treze\u015fte amintiri pl\u0103cute), \u201ev\u00e2nturatul mur\u0103turilor \u00een afara butoiului\u201d sau \u201econsuma\u0163i crema de fa\u0163\u0103 a mamei folosind un prosop \u015fi o erec\u0163ie\u201d dar tot frecatul \u00een dulcele stil clasic r\u0103m\u00e2ne prima op\u0163iune.<\/p>\n

A\u015fadar, ca s\u0103 nu deviem de la problema ta, cel mai bine este s\u0103-\u0163i cumperi o lam\u0103, s\u0103-\u0163i tai prepu\u0163ul, s\u0103 freci apoi coco\u015felul p\u00e2n\u0103 se \u00eencheag\u0103 s\u00e2ngele \u015fi se cauterizeaz\u0103 rana iar apoi vei vedea c\u0103 o s\u0103 scapi de ambele probleme: \u015fi de meteahna masturb\u0103rii, \u015fi de a\u0163a care nu las\u0103 taurul s\u0103 ias\u0103 \u00een aren\u0103.\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"unu\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0 Rom\u00e2nii sunt un popor \u00eenc\u0103rcat de probleme din cele mai felurite, de la pensii mici p\u00e2n\u0103 la penisuri late. Unele din ele nu le rezolv\u0103 nimeni, indeferent c\u00e2te ture de stadion ar face B\u0103nel …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30,103],"tags":[265,357,1108,2020,2466,2686,2908,3042,3053,3151],"class_list":["post-9030","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-aberatia-de-intelect","category-promo","tag-analiza","tag-ata","tag-doctor","tag-masturbare","tag-penis","tag-problema","tag-rubrica","tag-sex","tag-sfat","tag-specialist"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9030","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9030"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9030\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9030"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9030"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/revistacioburi.ro\/revistacioburi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9030"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}